Blog 50: When-Then-Game. And why I gave up playing.

Whew!!! It’s been a little. I have been meaning to write here for weeks but you know…I am busy momming. So since I last wrote, I have created a new human (with Kyle’s help-lol) and have been learning life with two kids :) It’s wonderful and challenging and I love it. I am also perpetually covered in breastmilk so there is that.

So today my message is about the when/then game. What’s that game you ask? It’s the game we play in our heads that goes something like this. When I am done with school, then I’ll have more time to enjoy my family. When I make more money, then I will start saving more. When I drop 20 lbs, then I will be able to love myself. When I don’t have small kids, then I will start to exercise.

When then. And it’s a recipe for disaster because we never recognize the power is now. Life is now. What is good now? The game to play is in the NOW. What do you love about your life right now? What is life offering up right now? How can you flip the when/then to now.

For examples, Now I am going to take 30 minutes each day to be really present with my kids and play. Now I am going to set up a small automated savings weekly. Now I am going to cherish my body and thank it for all it does for me minute by minute. Now I am going to find ways to move my body with my kids. Life doesn’t pass us by when we are in the NOW.

Perfection is not the game. Fulfillment is.

I was thinking about this the other night as I was laying nursing Max on the left and holding Jack and reading a book with my other arm. It is my most favorite anything right now. To be with these two together. I want to be present to that because as all parents know; they grow fast. This is the game of the now! Enjoy what is in front of your face.

Has my ability to work out when I want changed? Yes. Has my ability to get work done on my schedule or keep my house or a room in the house a certain way changed? Yes. Is there a million and one things on a mom brain and yet always forgetting something. Yes.

The when-then game would already be thinking about when my kids are older…then…..

Instead, I am playing the now game. I am so grateful for the ability to watch and learn from these beautiful little humans and love the heck out of momming them. Even with insane amount of breastmilk laundry to do every week - LIFE IS GOOD! Day by day. Perfection is not the goal. Fulfillment is.